The Most Generous Interpretation
In this episode, Brittany Hageman discusses the concept of the most generous interpretation of events in business. She emphasizes the importance of understanding that not every negative event or situation is a reflection of one's worth or business success. Brittany explores the cycle of interpretation and reaction that estheticians often go through and provides examples of common events in business that can trigger negative interpretations. She also highlights the need for setting boundaries and showing compassion while maintaining a business mindset. Throughout the episode, Brittany encourages listeners to adopt a more generous and empathetic perspective when interpreting client behavior and business outcomes.
Topics:
- Not every negative event or situation in business is a reflection of your worth or success.
- Interpretations of events can often lead to negative emotions and hinder business growth.
- Setting boundaries and showing compassion are essential in maintaining a sustainable business.
- Adopting a more generous and empathetic perspective can help in interpreting client behavior and business outcomes.
Transcript:
You're listening to the Estheticians Earning More podcast with Brittany Hageman. You are listening to the Estheticians Earning More podcast with Brittany Hageman, episode number 142. Hi, how are you? Welcome back. I'm so excited to be back with you today. I am really excited to talk about today's episode because I feel like a lot of my Esthetician clients need a little bit of a pep talk lately because...
Even if your business is going well, like even if you're making money and you're selling product, people are booking all the things that we want, right? You can still feel a little like not great in your business. And I just want to like consistently normalize that. That's just human brain behavior to not always feel great in your business, to feel a little, you know, needing some, some love.
So that's what I'm here for today. Today we're gonna talk about a concept that I've learned from one of my favorite psychologists, Dr. Becky. She's Dr. Becky Good Inside is like her brand, Good Inside. She's a parenting therapist, researcher. That's how I learned about her. I...
book and all her things and I just really love her philosophies of people and how to approach dealing with small people also known as children. And I've learned a lot of things from her that I think is helpful for dealing with people in business because whether they're tiny children that have lots of feelings or big adults that have lots of feelings, the...
principles and the concepts are really interchangeable because they're just people at the end of the day, right and The concept that she talks about and I think if I may have it I made the title wrong So if I do then maybe it's my now it's mine, but no, I think it's really her I think this is the title but the most generous interpretation of something, okay?
So stay with me here. I know that's like a very long way of saying something, but most generous interpretation of an event or something that happens. The reason that I want to talk about this with you today is because there's a cycle of things that happen in business that I see with my aesthetician clients. And this is the cycle. It goes from something happens, a client does something or says something or doesn't do something, and the aesthetician then...
interprets it a certain way and then the esthetician feels a certain way and then it's really hard for them to show up in their business in a way that's actually sustainable, that's gonna grow their business, that's gonna continue to show up for other clients, right? It's like this chain of event of like the client does or doesn't do or says something, the esthetician interprets it a certain way and then the esthetician, it kind of derails them. They start.
Some of the different things that can happen in a business is a client cancels, right? Or client no shows, right? A client...
you know you're checking them out.
Maybe you look at your books and you feel like your month is slow That's another thing that happens in your business that you may interpret a certain way and then you kind of maybe spiral and not a great way, right? Or you put a lot of energy into posting on social media lately and their posts are not performing We talked about this last week and then you start like you interpret a certain way that tends to leave this
about yourself, right? So it's like this like, it's this cycle that estheticians go through because that's how brains work. Again, again, we're going back to brain education, brains work this way to protect ourselves, right? It's like, something doesn't work, something's like not a good thing, then I'm gonna do everything I can to stop that from happening again, right? Someone cancels, I don't want people canceling, like this is a problem.
not great, I'm going to freak out, right? Like that's how your primitive brain wants to interpret it. And that's what is the loudest in your brain. And that's what's gonna just go off instantly when these events happen. Before I kind of go into what I want your generous interpretations to be of these events, I wanna just do a quick reminder that you still need to have boundaries with people.
You still need to tell people no when these things happen. You still need to charge people because you're running a business. You can still have a lot of compassion for people. Things happen. They need to cancel or whatever it is why the event is happening, right? Like a big size. I say that because it's just like sometimes it's just like, oh my gosh, really? Right. You still have compassion for people and tell them no and charge them. So like those things still are there. And if like people are can't.
and at an alarming rate or whatever, maybe we need to like look at your policies and things like that to kind of protect your business. I don't really like using the word protect because I feel like it puts you on a defense. And this isn't a defensive strategy. This is just a business strategy. There's no defense in business. It's just like, this is what it is here, right? Like we come to appointments and if you can't, we understand then you're gonna get charged. Like there's not.
I'm not defending myself, I'm not hurting you, I'm not attacking you, this is what we do here, right? I've talked a lot about this, I will continue talking about this if you want more episodes on that, go back to some other episodes where I talk about boundaries. But I wanna just, that's a big part of this. So this doesn't mean because we're having a generous interpretation of an event, it means we just let everything slide, okay?
Okay, so they're not the same thing. Okay, so let's say someone, your books are pretty full for next week and then three people cancel. Two of them reschedule for later than month or next month and one does not. I know where your brain is probably going. It's like my prices are too high.
People can't afford me. I should never raise my prices again or I was thinking of raising them now. I shouldn't I There's a recession. No one has any money anymore Now those people canceled now everyone else is going to cancel. I'm not going to make enough money this month it's like this like complete spiraling right of like Going to like scarcity mode, right? Like I I don't know
we're gonna do, you know, just complete panic. That is an often interpretation of that event of people, two people counseling, people counseling. Let's say three. Let's say three, because two way schedules and one doesn't. Another interpretation that would be more generous for you and for them, right, or being generous to your clients as well, because being, I think, generous to your clients can also soften sometimes the way you respond to them in a way that's more sustainable for your business, because you're not like mad and frustrated. You're just like,
Oh, bummer, I really was hoping to see you or whatever, but you're not panicking. So let's talk about what could be happening why three people canceled for next week. I'm just gonna give you a couple of ideas of what it could be. They're sick. They have a work project that they...
Have due at the end of next week and they are so far behind They have to stay they know they have to stay late every day to keep up Their mom just told them they were coming to visit Their child they just got a notification from the school that there's a school event that they didn't know about Okay, the list could go on and I actually want you to write down knowing your clients. What could it be? If I was your client and I all of a sudden can't
Nine times out of 10, either my daughter is sick or my husband got called in for a flight and I can't, I don't childcare. Those are the reasons I'm sick, or I'm sick, but I don't get sick that often. It's usually one of those two reasons, right? Why I'd have to cancel or reschedule an appointment. Not because your price is, no, not because I don't love you and love coming in. That's not why. It's because of these external things in my life. And if you think that about the person,
if you go to reach out to them, if they haven't rescheduled or you're interacting with them, you're like, oh, this is so hard for you. I'm so sorry. You have a lot of compassion for them, a lot of empathy for them. And then you're not taking any of it personal. It's not a reflection of you and your business at all. And you can turn that energy of like, oh, bummer for them. I'm now gonna find people who I know have been trying to get in and they couldn't. Or I'm gonna use that time to...
work on my business to get more people in, market more, all the things that I do to get more people in. Yeah, it's a bummer I wanted that money and you did that money, of course. Of course, come on, let's be real. But it does not mean all of these things that you've tried to make, your brains tried to make it mean. Okay, we're gonna do a couple more, okay? Another one, your month is slow. If you're watching the video, I'm putting it in quotation marks, your month is slow. I don't know what that means, because it means something different for everyone.
Some of my clients, they tell me their month is slow, they have three people booked for the entire month.
Their month is low and they have three openings for the entire month. Okay, so I always ask my clients like what does that mean? Tell me what that means to you because that slow means nothing and I actually rarely actually is true people tell me that maybe it's less Appointments at this far in the month and you
people book last minute. Like people, we forget all these things. Our brain just kind of go into panic always. It's slow. I have two openings tomorrow. Like, okay, but what's your month look like? Okay, so what is the most generous interpretation you can give yourself when you look at your books and your brain tells you your month is slow? Okay, one of them is to actually look.
Now if you count and there are less appointments than previous month.
Another generous interpretation could be, people are busy. It's a spring break. Spring break for a lot of people right now. Like in Georgia.
It's like fun to be outside, which is like not a thing for a lot of the year here. Like I really hate the hot summer. I hate being outside in summertime. Like maybe they're just like, I'm canceling because the weather is great and I want to like go do something, right? Maybe they're canceling, you know, maybe they didn't book for that reason. Like maybe they just know this month is going to be like a busy month for them. Like one of my friends here, she's trying to take the bar exam. So.
If she was getting regular services somewhere, I would think this month she wouldn't schedule because she's like all of her time is going into studying when she's not working with her child. Right? Like why are, why would people who normally come aren't coming? That is again, no reflection of you or your business. Things in their own life. Maybe they forgot. Maybe they're just a busy person. Maybe they have a job and they're trying to grow their own business and they have a family and they're going to school. Right? Like, you know, they have so many places in the air.
and they just forgot. They just totally forgot. It's nothing to do with you. I always want you to look at it as if it's nothing to do with you. Now, if you feel like it is a consistent problem with you and there's many needs to change, that's a different conversation. But if I had to guess, that's not the...
What would be another generous interpretation of if your post didn't perform on Instagram or wherever, TikTok, whatever you post on. Again, I want you to look at what that looks like for you. We talked about this a couple episodes ago, but like if 10 people liked it and you only have room for 10 people on your books, like new people, and maybe five of those people were clients and five of them weren't, that's performing.
So how can you generous, like give that generous interpretation of yourself? Like, this is actually great. Like I don't need a hundred likes for it to perform. I don't need 14 ,000 views. Like that one post that I still have as of now sold 14 ,000. Like nothing changed, right? Like still nothing has happened that's any different. Like life is still the same here. 14 ,000 does not mean successful post in this business, right?
It's like that is not always like maybe shares and saves and other things or other metrics are so much more important than how many likes. Like how can you look at something in a different way that maybe is more truthful and more generous to yourself when it comes to posting?
And then if someone, again, if someone didn't reschedule, a generous way to look at this would be maybe their month is crazy. Maybe like, for instance, for me, I'm...
And we were trying to schedule for April and I was like, I don't have my husband's schedule yet And I my time my daughter's in preschool. I am working so I don't have that time To go and so I have to go when he's home and his schedule so as soon as he gets his schedule like I will contact you but like Maybe people don't communicate that to you like or they that is true They just haven't like they they got the schedule and they forgot, you know, like time things are happening, right? They just need you to reach out to that
because they haven't heard from me. You know what I mean? Again, it's not because they didn't, not because I don't love my lashes. It's because I just have a lot of things going on in my life. And my lashes are not my top priority.
You can still be super important to someone and still be high on their budget, high on their priority, high on they want to come and see you and get your service and they forget about you. That's 1000 % true.
But I think we think them forgetting about us means that we're forgettable, right? That we're like, not.
relevant, that we're not good, that we're not worth their money and time. But that's not true, and that's also just so ungenerous and unkind to yourself. We could just choose to believe that people have busy lives, just like you do. I'm sure you need to get your teeth cleaned or whatever, right?
You go get physical. I get messages from my doctor's office that you said, come to get physical, right? It doesn't mean I hate my doctor. I just like getting around to doing.
Maybe I shouldn't have mediation. Use physical as an example. But do you know what I mean there, right? Like, if you're gonna look at something like this in your business and you can choose to look at it as your business is failing, you're never gonna make any money again, you're not making enough money, it's not enough, it's not enough, it's not enough, or, huh, that didn't go the way I was hoping it would go, but I can still contact.
to these people, I can still spend that time working on these things in my business that I've been needing to work on. I can spend that time marketing, I can spend the time making reels, I can spend that time talking to people about my business. I can spend that time doing other things that I really need to do in my business. So this is actually a good thing. I often wouldn't put cancellations on Instagram because I was like, oh, I can like take a minute and like get some stuff done.
Like Kevin putting off my business and aren't like super important but things I do need to do that I can just like know I can just get these things done like I have 45 minutes or an hour because someone canceled I'm gonna Sit down and get all of this stuff done and I'm gonna Feel a lot better to have this off my plate and yes, I would have thought they'd be making money But now these things are done like that's a great generous way to a to interpret it sometimes in my
one -to -one coaching business. If you don't know, I do discovery calls as the first step to working with me. You can actually just sign up from my website, but most people wanna talk. So they schedule a discovery call with me and we talk. It's totally free. It's great. Sometimes people don't show up for their calls. Okay, it does happen. It's happened to me more than I thought it would happen. They don't show up, because this is a free call, right? So there's not like, they haven't paid for it, they forget. And I could interpret it as they hate me.
They think I'm awful. I'm irrelevant. I can really go down a rabbit hole of like, people don't value my time. People don't respect me. I can go down like a whole rabbit hole. Nine times out of 10, when people don't show up, it's because they forgot. Truly they forgot. They're not pulling one over on me. They just, they forgot. They're in a different time zone than me and they got confused on time.
even though the system does it for them, they still, sometimes people, you can get confused, I get confused on time zones all the time. So people get confused, still sometimes like, wait, is it, or this wrong day, they thought it was like today and it's tomorrow, you know, whatever, that's happened. Or what happens the most is they can't figure out how to get on the call, because it's a Google Meet call. So they're waiting for me to call them and then nothing happens. So they're just like sitting there waiting. So I'll email.
message them like hey are we on the call and they're like yeah I'm trying I don't know what to do and I'm like oh this is you know this is how to do it but if I just immediately was like they don't value me they hate me I send them a message like hey you had a call you didn't show up and like whatever I just I can my most generous interpretation is they can't get on they can't figure out how to get on or they forgot because that's usually what happens.
So that's what I'm going to choose to believe I can still be like just disappointed or discouraged or frustrated sure I'm a human being a lot like oh man what's happening? Why are they here? Right? Like part of me feels rejected instantly that I'm like, wait a minute They may have mixed up the days. Wait a minute They don't understand as a Google me and they're waiting for me to call them on the phone and they're sitting by their phone holding their phone Like why isn't she calling me right? Like that's very possible. That's not being delusional. That's being realistic a problem
And then I email them and message them and like hey, did you forget or hey? You're giving hard time you on the call and then like they never get back to me ever again. Yes, that does happen But I still just choose to believe they just changed their mind and they just didn't want to hurt my feelings That's what I just used to believe I could just believe that they think I'm horrible or that they Don't respect me or like I could choose to believe all of these things, but it's probably not true
For someone to go out of their way to cut to schedule a call and then not show up is not because of me Right. It really isn't Maybe change their mind me for gone. Whatever. I don't know. Sometimes I don't know why it happens But I don't get mad and if they're like, oh can I schedule the call? Absolutely if they do like multiple times in a row, but okay I can't keep waiting to talk to you. All right, but what?
I always, whenever I have a discovery call scheduled, I have something else in my mind of what I'm gonna do during that time if the person doesn't show up. Like I have something I'm gonna work on so that I'm like, I'm not wasting that time.
So I just want to remind you, give you another hug that your brain is going to want to present the most horrible interpretation. It's gonna be really strong too. But you get to just take a deep breath and go, okay, what else could be going on? And I want you to focus on that instead. Okay? That's it for today. Thanks for listening. I'll be back next week. Have a fantastic week. Bye.
